against gifting culture

[This is day #10 of my 30-day microblogging challenge. You can and should still join!

This is going to make me sound like a cheapskate, but… I hate gifting culture.

Of course I enjoy the dopamine hits when shopping for gifts, and picturing the recipient’s joy upon receiving them, but I hate the idea of spending serious money on things people don’t need (and might never use), out of social obligation.

I hate paying 3-5x as much for a product just because it’s packaged as a gift and sold at a gift shop, especially knowing that the chocolates and tea will taste the same as (or possibly worse than) the ones I could buy elsewhere.

(Note: I’ll still buy them because I have to, and they make it convenient).

I hate buying chocolates and cookies because I’m philosophically opposed to nutritionally net-negative gifts (it almost feels like I’m giving people poison??). But I’m even MORE opposed to gifting non-consumables that might not suit people’s tastes, that they’re then forced to keep because re-gifting or discarding them feels like sacrilege.

It’s surprisingly easy to miss the mark when buying someone perfume or scented products. For example, I ADORE rose scents, while disliking citrus and other florals like jasmine or lavender, but many people are the exact opposite (they instantly think “grandma” when they smell roses).

If I’m buying jewelry, scarves, or any decorative pieces, I almost feel like I’m forcing the recipient to wear, use or showcase products that might not suit their style (which would make the gift feel like an imposition, or worse, a burden).

(Sometimes, when giving gifts, I’ll explicitly tell the recipient that they should feel free to give the gift to someone else, and that I got it because I didn’t want to show up empty-handed, but I’m aware that this is a painfully “autistic”/socially awkward move that risks ruining a nice moment)

I hate all the mental gymnastics. I hate having to think “Will this gift look cheap or lazy? Is it distasteful? Will it actually offend them? Is this the 4th candle or bath set they’re getting from this brand?”…

(It gets even more complicated when the recipient is significantly better off than you)

To wrap it up (ha): if you invite me to a party, I will try not to show up empty-handed out of politeness. But deep down I will probably feel guilty about burdening you with a gift you’ll have to figure out what to do with…